Wednesday, December 24, 2008

My Christmas Wishlist

I've been reading quite a number of blogs with Christmas wish list posts. Well, here's mine - on the eve of Christmas, no less. I'll be including far out wishes with attainable wishes. And most of these will be material. Oh yes, they will be material.

1. A new desktop computer. Not really the whole shebang, all I really need are the internal components for a new CPU. AMD Phenom X4, 4gb RAM, nice video card, 160gb and 320gb hard drives and a new dvd-writer. That's it. As for peripherals, I'd like to ask for a Wacom Bamboo Fun tablet and a 300gb external hard drive. And those new 22" HD 1080 ready LCD monitors wouldn't hurt either.

2. A 1-bedroom loft condominium unit with 1 car parking space right smack dab in the middle of Makati CBD (central business district - I think). Or at least the afformentioned condo unit. What I'd really appreciate is the 2-bedroom loft condominium unit. And the 1 car parking space. Why the parking space?

3a. A black Subaru Impreza WRX STi. With 18 inch silver rims, yellow HID lamps, and maybe slightly tuned to improve either performance or fuel economy.

3b. A black Lexus IS250 fully outfitted with the F-Sport kit. It's either this or the Scooby. I don't want both. I can always walk or commute if the car can't be taken out due to the number coding scheme. I'm not THAT greedy... Yet?

4a. Dean Guitars FBD Dimebag Tribute guitar. Since I've been playing the guitar again, I figure this will be a good incentive to improve.

4b. Gibson SG electric guitar. Just because Tony Iommi used an SG during his early Black Sabbath days.

4c. Gibson Les Paul. The. Best. Rock. Guitar. Ever.

5. A brand new US PS3 with the biggest hard drive size and HDMI cables. My PS3 is conking out on me despite not being a year in use. I can have it fixed but wouldn't it be better if I could get a new one isntead? Indeed.

6. A 40" HD1080 ready LCD TV. True, there is no HD ready station in the Philippines. But my slightly damaged PS3 is HD capable. So there you go.

7. Any Marshall amp, wah-wah pedal, flanger, and chorus plus all the necessary cables. I almost forgot about these. For the electric guitar, of course.

That's about it, I guess. If I forgot any more, too bad. But off the top of my head, these are the things I'd like to have. Of course I only need one each from wishlist 3 and 4.

Well, that's my Christmas wishlist.


Sunday, December 14, 2008

Random Musings

I guess it's time to "open up" about work a lot more than I usually do. I will be mentioning some incidents but I will be as general as possible. After all, this is my blog and I am free to write about what I want to write, while at the same time respecting my right to privacy at the same time.

What a year it has been. I left my first ever job and moved into a new job. I was thinking it would be a great opportunity to learn new stuff in my chosen field, and I was right.

I learned how to use new techniques and new software. I was able to expand my knowledge on some software I was currently using. I learned to be more confident of my skills. I also managed to get myself exposed to more people in 3D, and I was able to compare myself to them, skills-wise. I'd have to say that I now know I can hold my own against other 3D artists. That is a fact, and not some delusion I have.

I also got "promoted" to lead artist. That is also a good thing. It shows that the company I work for trusts me and realizes how skilled I am. Not a bad thing to happen, considering I haven't even reached one year working for this company.

But bad things also happened. We got raided for using pirated software. That's true. We got stuck in limbo for a few months.

Then the company lays off a good number of people. This had something to do with the global economic crisis, and I guess it also had something to do with "cleansing the company of bad apples." I'm not blind and I'm not stupid, either. I do know that there were other motives aside from financial when they did the retrenchment.

But that's not my problem. That's the company's problem. I just have to do my job everyday. And I have no problems with that. All my concern is my job security. Because just last Friday another one was let go. This coming week will be his last week. The company just got him to finish his tasks then boom.

That worries me. Because I'm also about to finish a certain task for the company. Who's to stop them from letting me go after I finish my task?

Then again, I really don't mind if that happens. For one, I will be free to look for better opportunities. Another, all the experiences I've had this past year have made me stronger in so many ways. Even the negatives gave me an edge, because now I know how to deal with those things.

So if ever I am let go, the only one who'll come out of the losing end is the company. Why? Because I'm good - they know it and I know it. Also, they still got me cheap. My pay is acceptable, but I know I am worth more. Plus if ever they let me go I am almost 100% sure I won't be going back to work for them (unless they offer me a salary upwards of P35k next time).

Yes, I have a price. Everything has a price in this modern world we live in. I can't feed myself with thanks and praise. I need money. Sad as that sounds.


Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Down the Drain?

Shit has once again hit the fan. At the end of November the company I work for had to retrench a good number of people. The reason being that we are in a global economic crisis right now, and business isn't really good. Clients haven't really been looking for companies to do their projects, since they're not even sure how much budget they can release for their future projects.

From a business standpoint, I totally understand the decision. You've got to keep the company alive, and it's better to sacrifice a few people rather than keeping everyone then eventually folding. The "lives" of many outweigh the "lives" of a few, yadda yadda yadda. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Indeed.

From a human standpoint, I'm crushed. I've made good friends in the company, and most of them were hit with the retrenchment. It's sad because one of the first clients to stop giving us projects was the clients of my good friends. Technically we're just three of the original five. And I won't be surprised if that number lessens sooner rather than later.

I do have other friends in the office, but the ones I usually hung out with were those guys. And now one by one they are moving on. You might be wondering why I am not hit with the retrenchment. It's because I'm in a different department. They were in the architectural department and I'm in the game dev department. The reason I got close to them was when I entered the company I started my training in the same room they were in.

Oh and have I mentioned that the 3D game dev department is now a one man team? Yep. I'm the 3D game dev department. Sucks. I was recently endorsed to be the lead artist for the 3D game dev team and now I have no team. Oh the irony.

But to be honest, despite the fact that it does depress me, I soldier on. I have to. Getting mired in depression will only make matters worse, and I have to admit, I am a professional. It all boils down to the fact that I have to do my job because that is the reason they pay me.

In a way you could say I have been desensitized to what's happening. I've become numb to my own grief at the loss of good friends. I've adopted my old belief that I don't go to work to make friends, I go there to do my job - if I make any friends then that's just bonus.

As for my friends who got the axe, on the bright side they are not tied down anymore. They are now free to seek better opportunities, whether here or abroad, and better fortunes without having to worry about resigning and the process that comes with resigning. And I wish them the best of luck.


PS - It may seem odd that I suddenly opened up with this online, considering I try to avoid revealing too much about myself and my life here. But to be honest I have tried to make this post as general as possible, and I have not named any names. So if any of you figure out what the heck I'm talking about then that just means you know me pretty well.

PPS - If the format of this post is a lot different than my other posts it's because I am using a Mac laptop instead of my usual PC, reason being that my PC has a bad case of a keylogger virus and I'm not sure if I effectively removed it or not. Oh well - a few more weeks and I'll be upgrading anyway.

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sleepy Nights and "Lindsay Lohan"

Weird dream I had last night.

Supposedly I had this "friend" (who looked a lot like Lindsay Lohan during her younger years) wasn't feeling so well so she asked me to drive her home using her car. Except I had to meet up with some friends of mine so she agreed to go there first before I drove her home.

Now, that seems like a normal dream, yes? Except for one thing. The car.

A McLaren Mercedes SLR.

I know why I dreamed of that car specifically. It was before going to sleep last night. I was watching this movie starring Dwayne Johnson, where he's this hotshot football player who discovers he has a child. And in that movie he drives a McLaren Mercedes SLR. I didn't get to finish the movie since I was really sleepy. But I do remember the car.

As for the "Lindsay Lohan" looking friend, I have no idea where that came from. Probably from some E! News report about her and her lover.

The mind creates weird things when one is asleep. Too bad it had to be that strange dream. I'd rather have dreamed of food.


Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Return of the Metal

I've been listening lately to lots of '90s metal songs. Actually, just Metallica, Megadeth, Pantera, and Helmet. And not exactly all their songs. I've gotten copies of Megadeth, Pantera, and Helmet's best of albums. And they rock.

Plus the fact that I've been doing exercises on my guitar probably adds to the fact that I'm trying my darndest (does anyone even use that word anymore?) to reconnect with my high school days. It's only now that I'm starting to appreciate practicing with the guitar. And only that now that I appreciate the music that I enjoy listening.

I used to like the music because I thought I could relate to the lyrics and stuff. But now I appreciate it for what it is, good metal music. And only now do I realize how awesome the guitarists were and how gifted they were to be able to create that music.

Which brings me to my next topic. The guitar.

Sure I'll never be able to match the skill and speed that Dimebag Darrel (RIP) has, but I am trying my best to be a competent "lead guitarist" instead of the poser I once was in high school. I'm actually forcing myself to do the finger exercises I found boring before. And I can actually see results happening. Patience is indeed a great gift.

I can actually play the first part of the first solo of Metallica's One quite coherently nowadays. Not unlike before when I pretended that I could play it. And the more I get better with the guitar the more appreciative I am of the music I listen to.

Maybe my PS3 getting broken was a good thing after all. It's been almost 2 months since it started acting up and my guitar playing has gotten better in 2 months. Obviously not a coincidence.

Well that's all for now.


Thursday, November 13, 2008

Health Watch

Haven't jogged for almost two weeks now. Partly my fault, partly the weather's fault.

My fault because when I did have the opportunity to jog last Monday I decided against it. I did get some sort of work out because I had to help haul some office equipment which got me a decent amount of sweat AND also spelled the start of the demise of my pants.

As I was bending down to pick up one of the equipments I heard a rather loud but short pop. Checking my ass I discovered that the seams of my pants had started popping off. Again. No hope for these pants anymore, I guess. I don't mind because I've had these pants since 2000 and eight years is more than enough time to wear pants. I guess it's also time for me to say goodbye to them.

The weather has been acting up lately also. A storm that was supposed to have passed the country decided it hadn't seen enough and went back. When it comes time to jog for me (Tuesdays or Thursdays) that's when the rain usually falls. But on the days I don't jog nothing but cloudy skies. No rain.

Ach. Well I'd better start watching what I eat again. I can't seem to maintain my focus of losing weight consistently for longer than 2 week stretches. Usually I'll go 2 weeks discipline, 3 weeks pig out. Have to get rid of that pig out period.

And that's that.


Wednesday, November 05, 2008

The Weight-Watch Diaries (?)

About two weeks ago I started jogging after office hours with an officemate of mine. So far our schedule has been Tuesdays and Thursdays. We run around the block of Velasquez Park in Salcedo Village. Around the block meaning we run on the sidewalk and around the block where the park and carpark is. Not inside the park.

So far the past two weeks have been pretty good. My shins ache and stuff but that's basically because they're not used to the fact that I'm actually doing any strenuous physical activity. My weight has dropped to 102kg which is a hell of a lot less than my previous 105kg. Still heavy, I know but it's a start.

Anyway yesterday was sort of a milestone for me. I managed to finally slow jog around the whole block for the first time. Used to be I could only go 3/4 of the way. After the one full lap I started walking for about 5 - 6 laps then did another jog, almost would have made it another full round had I not stopped to walk around some pedestrians.

Then, because of the fact that I am still working my way into shape plus the fact that my officemate was not in top form, we decided to walk inside the park. They do have a paved path inside the park where most people walk around or jog around. After one or two laps my officemate took off on his own on a fast jog. After about another lap I took off on my own and did 3/4 of the path on a relatively fast jog. Not bad.

After last night's jog I'm more inclined to just walk / jog inside the park rather than outside it. I realized that the paved path is a lot smoother than the sidewalk outside, where there are some cracks and stuff. Plus the path has ups and downs, which is a great way to change the difficulty of the walk / jog. Rather that just walking around a relatively flat sidewalk.

The main reason I decided to start walking / jogging isn't weight loss. I've noticed I've become a slob. I think I have what some people describe as a sedentary lifestyle.
Almost no physical activity. I'm more concerned about getting more physical activity for my body than losing weight, because I'm pretty sure I'll start losing weight once I get my body in shape.

I want to avoid panting after a few minutes brisk walk. I want to make sure I can climb a flight of stairs and not be gasping for air at the top. I want to be able to look at myself in front of a mirror and not think how disgusting I look. Most people will suggest going to the gym, but I did that last year and while it did help initially, I eventually became disinterested in it. Maybe because I have to go to the gym and work out. Maybe because I have to pay monthly dues and if I don't get to go to the gym I feel like I'm wasting my money.

At least in walking / jogging I don't have to spend anything. I just need to change my clothes to a more appropriate attire.

100 kg. That's my target for now. If I can drop to 100kg then maybe 98kg isn't that far away.

One step at a time, though.


Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Was it Worth It?

You bust your ass. Prove to your doubters that they were wrong. Rise above expectations. Take things up a notch. And what thanks do you get?

Not much.

Don't get me wrong, I'm glad to know I'm being appreciated. But I'm not stupid either. You know how you get the idea how much you're being appreciated? Well, I can sense those things.

God. Damn. It.

This sucks. You go 100% on your effort only to realize that it wasn't as worth it as you were hoping for. I feel stupid. Goddamned stupid.


Tuesday, October 14, 2008


I've been reading a lot of Naruto lately online. In fact I finished all available Naruto manga. So far I'm waiting for the latest to come out.

Of all the characters in that manga, I felt I could relate best with Shikamaru Nara. The guy with the shadow jutsu. Why? Just like him I find tasks a "hassle" to do, preferring not to get too many responsibilities. But just like him whenever some important task comes up he always does his best. No matter how much of a hassle it is.

In other words he usually complains what a drag an assignment is, but he will eventually do it, and most of the time he does a most excellent job at it to boot.

What's up with the Naruto post? Not much if you look at it from a very "shallow" standpoint.

As we get older in life it would not be surprising to realise that our responsibilities start piling up one after another. This is of course a normal thing, because technically as we get older it means we are more capable of handling responsibilities - either personal or work related.

Do I mind more responsibilities? I'd be lying if I said no. It's a drag, honestly. But just because I feel that way it doesn't mean that I won't accept the responsibilities and do my best in each. Besides, getting more responsibilities means more people put their trust in you.


Saturday, September 27, 2008

On Blogging (Again?!?)

It seems fairly obvious by now that I can only blog anything with sense when I am "angry."

I've been scanning through my previous posts, even ones from way way back. The trend I've been noticing is that the posts with the most sense, and the posts that always seem well-written are the posts I write when I need to vent.

I find it strange that of all the outlets of my frustrations I can think off it has to be in this blog. Am I that anti-social that I feel better releasing my frustrations to no one in particular? Opening up myself to a bunch of unknowns?

I've seen the dangers of posting my "true" thoughts. Now I only post "censored" thoughts. Things I don't mind writing and things I won't mind random people finding out about myself.

So why'd I post this? I have no idea.


Sunday, September 14, 2008

I AM Rasheed Wallace

These were the exact words that flooded into my brain as I lay awake at around 2:30am trying to fall asleep on a cold, hard floor. This was hours before D-Day for a project I was working on.

I had sacrificed my entire weekend and most of my weeknights just to stay and finish this project. We managed to finish it but not on time. We were probably a few hours delayed. I really can't complain since most of the team put out their best efforts, plus with such a short timetable our room for errors were nil. And this was the project where Murphy's law reared it's ugly head almost every opportunity. So it was still a job well done, considering the circumstances.

Anyway why was I comparing myself to Rasheed Wallace?

Cutting through all traces of humility, I am a really talented 3D artist. I work fast, my output has quality, I am a team player, I go the extra mile, I don't abandon my team when my tasks are done (staying behind to give either moral support or help out others who may need it), I learn things fast, and I am more than willing to do what has to be done. Just like Rasheed Wallace. He's always been there for his team. From the write-ups I've read about him on the internet most of his teammates enjoy having him on the team because of the positives he brings.

Rasheed Wallace is a multi-talented basketball player. He can post up, has a good mid-range shot, he can consistently bury the 3-point shot AND he plays good defense. I am an all-around 3D artist. I can model, rig, texture (up to a certain degree), animate, render, and composite works.

But 'Sheed also has his weaknesses. His emotions. Just like me. Rasheed can win a game for his team or lose it, depending on his emotions on any given day. If he plays with just the right amount of fire and control he can be unstoppable. But once his emotions start taking over he usually helps in the downfall of his team.

Just like me. I can help out anytime with the project and do amazing things with my skills. But once my emotions start taking over, I can also slow down the project. And I'm not just saying anger as an emotion. Yes I do get angry and it sometimes makes me lose focus. But there are other emotions. Like jealousy. Jealousy when I see someone else taking it easy, knowing that everyone else is giving 120% just to get something done. Jealousy over knowing that someone is getting more credit just because that someone knows how to market himself / herself better than me. Jealousy over seeing someone do almost nothing and rise to the top on sweet sounding bullshit that higher ups buy. (This has nothing to do with my current job ONLY, as this has been how I have been feeling since my previous job.)

But one thing I feel I have better than Rasheed has been self-control. I've been able to contain my emotions and set aside my negative feelings for the greater good of the team. So far. And it's because of this that I am proud that I have (so far) never been an impediment to the team.


Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Breaking Point

I'm suddenly really, really tired. Never expected this would happen so damn soon.

You know there is a problem when you dread getting up and out of your bed every morning. You know it's even worse when you remember that the dreams you've been having are all related to the reason you don't want to get out of bed.

Don't get me wrong, thanks to the upbringing I got from my folks, and the training I received at Holy Cow, I'm still good to go. I can do what has to be done, and do it to the best of my abilities, because a) I am proud of what I do and b) because I am trying my best to be a professional through and through.

I'd like to consider the team I'm in the Detroit Pistons. One of us is Billups, who guides the team with a steady hand. Another is Hamilton, full of boundless energy and ready to go the extra mile. Then there are the Amir Johnsons and Rodney Stuckeys, young guys full of potential but still in need of guidance. I'd consider myself to be 'Sheed. Talented and emotional, someone who can do special things if his head's on right.

What happens if someone like a Stephon Marbury (or a Zach Randolph) joins the Pistons? I'm sure most of you know.

And that's one of the reasons why I'm really, REALLY tired.


Monday, September 08, 2008


"... The report of my death was an exaggeration."
- Mark Twain

That quote above seems to fit, if you look at it from another point of view, my life right now.

Rumors have been running around about stuff that has been happening to me. Some of them are true, and some of them are not. And while I cannot confirm or deny all of them, I can lay to rest some of them.

I'm still here. I still have means of income. And I'm still getting better at what I do.

If I just made things hazier than clearer, then good. All the rumor-mongers out there will be in for a surprise. Karma's a bitch.

Karma. Is. A. Bitch.


Saturday, September 06, 2008

Cure for Insomnia

Okay. The past week I've been having a bad case of insomnia. Or if it isn't insomnia then my body clock got so out-of-whack that I only started getting sleepy around 12 midnight, and falling asleep around 1am-2am. Not cool, considering I also always managed to wake up around 6:30am all the time, and I never fell asleep in the afternoon.

Part of the problem probably was the fact that I had loads of stuff going through my head. Another part could be the fact that it was idle time for me last week. I really have no clue.

But this week that changed. I started falling asleep around 10pm at night, or a bit later. But as if on cue at around 9:45pm or so my eyelids would start getting really heavy. That's because I guess I finally found something to do. And that thing I've been doing has been really draining.

So if you want to get rid of your insomnia, or if you want to readjust your body clock, just start doing strenuous stuff and start depriving your body of energy. Eventually it will start to seek sleep and there you have it. You can start sleeping earlier so your body can get it's 8 hours of sleep.


Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Musings of an Idle Mind

I've experienced a lot of things in life, some good and some bad, but all of them were interesting experiences. Some of them I never expected to actually encounter while there are some I'm still waiting to experience. Who knows?

Anyway right now I actually feel like I am "evolving" in terms of the way I think and the way I act. It may not seem obvious to anyone else but I can see it. I can't even tell you how I feel like I'm evolving, just that I seem to be having a change of priorities. Not just a change of priorities but a change in my outlook in life.

Call it weird but my behavior changes depending on who I'm with. Maybe it's with my current group of officemates but it seems like I seem to be taking on more responsibilities. I seem to be less emotional at work. Changes in the project don't seem to affect me as negatively as they did before.

I don't know if this is because I'm at a new job or maybe because I've gotten so used to sudden and irrational (and maybe sometimes nearly impossible) revisions from my old job. Local TV commercials are a bitch to create. Trust me.

I encountered almost all kinds of clients at my old job. Art directors who have no direction, account executives who act like art directors, directors who go on vacation to Palawan when they know that the shit hit the fan and the team needed them now more than ever. I used to be quite emotional whenever I had to do changes to what I was doing in the project. Like what my officemate once said, I used to throw a "hissy fit" once I found out the revisions but after 10 - 30 minutes I'd just shut up and do the revisions.

Now, in my new job, I don't even react "violently" when I hear the revisions. I just nod my head, formulate a solution, then I act on it. Strange. Maybe I have grown up after all. Maybe because it's a new environment, one where more responsibilities are being thrown my way that is the cause of my sudden "maturity." I have no idea. But I am not complaining.

If this is the next step for me, then great. I have noticed that I have been working more efficiently and more productively since I changed jobs. It may be because I am in a different field now than before. I still do 3D but now it's not for TV commercials. Who knows?

I don't know if I might revert back to my old self. I hope not. I doubt it either.


Thursday, August 28, 2008

The Many Looks of Gani Nañagas

Every once in a while it is very important to stop, take some time off, and look back at where you came from. Just to find out if you are heading in the direction you really want to go.

That seems to be happening to me right now, and I have to say that despite the fact that my life currently has lots of ups and downs I am definitely where I want to be right now.

I was browsing my seldom used Friendster account and I realized that I've had so many hairstyles in the past four years. Here are some of them, not in chronological order...

There was a time I was either growing my hair real long, or I had just had it cut into a shorter version of what i was. I can't remember which one this was but I still like this look up to now. My hair is relatively long (but not long enough for me - haha) in this photo but still short enough that with enough hair product I can masquerade it for formal events.

Then there was the time my hair was the longest it's ever been my entire life. I'd grown my hair long (meaning I could ponytail it) thrice but managed to sustain that length for only a few months. This was, like I said, the longest I got it to. Looking back I guess I was a bit on the big side to consider keeping this look. It was fun, though. Maybe if I lost my huge stomach I could go back to this look again.

Then there was the "politician look" I had. This was for the wedding of my girlfriend's older sister. This was probably best suited if I always kept my hair slicked back with hair product. Sadly I don't do that. But this isn't a bad look, if I may say so myself.

The last pic I want to share is the time I had my head shaved. This is the most recent pic, of that I am most sure. I did this because it was around summertime and I was feeling hot.

I am pretty impulsive when it comes to my hair. I usually go extremes with it - either very long or very short. It is a big deal for me to grow it long, I've always wanted to have a ponytail. But when times dictate that I cannot have it, I tried going with the semi-long hair. When that didn't work I had my hair shaved off.

What was the point of this exercise? Nothing special. Just looking back at my life.


Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Arise, O 4th Gen iPod

Got home late last night, and the power was out.

So I did my usual evening rituals before going to sleep. Sadly too many thoughts were in my head and I had to do something to try to sleep. First I tried playing around with my guitar. No dice. I still know how to play, but I don't know what to play. So I was just plunking around with some notes and stuff when I remembered my iPod.

You see, a few weeks (or months, I really can't remember) ago the dreaded sad face showed up in my iPod. I was so distraught I started looking for possible remedies to fix it online. The warranty has been expired for at least over a year now. The only way to fix it was by myself and the only solutions I saw online was to open it up and either order a hard disk of the exact same model as my iPod's hard disk and replace it, or shake the hard disk. Apparently shaking the hard disk will get something inside unstuck and make it run again.

So last night I walk over to my dead iPod. I pull it out of it's carrying case and shake. Something clicks inside and the Apple logo appears. Joy, sweet joy. What's even better is there's some power left inside so I had enough time to listen to some tunes and get myself sleepy, which is what I exactly did.

I had to tell some of my friends (my friends who knew about my iPod's "death") the good news. Then Nick answers my SMS with some scary news. Shaking the iPod to get it to work will work, but he said it was only a temporary solution and that I'd better back up the files while I still can.


Now I don't have any spare or free cash around to acquire a new iPod. So too bad. I guess I'll have to enjoy whatever I can out of my trusty old iPod.

But since dreaming is free, I'd really love to own the 32gb iPod touch. It's P24k here so no dice about purchasing one. But I can really appreciate that product because not only can I use it to store music, I can also store my portfolio inside so I can show other people my works. And while it may not have the capability of becoming a portable disk drive (unless you download some 3rd party software, from what I've heard) at least the iPod touch isn't a hard drive so it won't break down as easily as, say, an iPod video.

So that's it I guess. I'll have to enjoy my iPod while I can. Maybe hope it doesn't die again. After all, hoping is free, right?


Sunday, August 24, 2008

Slow Night

It's been way over a month since I last posted anything.

Two Saturdays ago my office basketball team played it's first league game. We lost 71 - 16. 55 point loss.


League basketball games are way more intense than weekend runs. I can only imagine how intense varsity games are.

I was way out of shape, I started heaving breaths after only two trips up and down the court. The only jump shot I attempted I threw too strong, hit the backboard only, about two feet above the ring.

But I had a blast.

It was fun, honestly. Office camaraderie showed. We all had a good time even if we lost, and we weren't sore losers. Plus I got some workout going, which is something I always need.

I did notice some things I need to improve upon for the next game. I have to be more aggerssive down low (I play center), I need to set picks, I need to box out, and I need to use both arms to rebound.

My final stat line? 0-1 field goals, 1 defensive rebound.

I suck.

Next game's this Friday. I can't wait.


Tuesday, July 22, 2008


It seems my last post was June 17, 2008. More than a month has passed since I last blogged. I know that's not good, because I told myself I would try to write more posts this year and increase my blogging. Well, the year isn't over yet and I've still got around five months left to rectify the situation.

First off, I went to Naga for the first time in four years. Four. And I must say that the place looks awesome. It has changed in four years, and a part of me regrets not going there sooner than I should have. It had to take the wedding of one of my best friends, Ben, for me to go there.

The moment I managed to go around the place that last Saturday of June I realized that I did miss that place. Even if I didn't grow up there or I have no ties there, I still studied there for four years. So yes, there were emotional ties I didn't even realize I had to Naga.

I saw the new look of the DACA Dept, I saw my landlady, and I saw new buildings inside ADNU. Those are just a few of the things I saw in Naga. There were also new minimalls, new hotels, and new restaurants. Naga really looks progressive nowadays.

Second, I turned 28 last July 12. 28 years old and where am I now? Still in the same place. You can read that any which way, and it all says the same thing. I'd better start moving now. Not sooner, not later. Now.

Finally, I bought GTA4 as a birthday gift to myself. Damn. What an amazing game. I don't even spend most of the time doing missions. I just explore, jack parked cars (I make it a point not to steal cars with people inside unless the mission calls for it), go out with people in the game.

The game is great, but it does have some flaws. Targeting and ducking for cover is still an aspect of the game I cannot get the hang of. Whether that's because I have lousy hand-eye coordination remains to be seen.

That doesn't mean I've abandoned NBA 2K8. As much as I get pissed off playing the game, I still come back to play it.

Finally I joined my office's basketball team. We'll be joining a basketball league. What position will I be playing? Based on the criteria our head coach wrote down, I'll be a power forward-center. I know, I can't rebound for shit and I can't defend. But I am comfortable posting up and I really couldn't do the things required of point guards, shooting guards, and small forwards. Besides, like I told our coach, I'll play PF-C like Vin Baker... when he was an alcoholic.

I always visualized myself as a small forward/point forward. Sorta like Toni Kukoc, Grant Hill or Lamar Odom. But my ballhandling isn't really that great so I guess it's back in the post for me. I'm still confident in my baby hook. I'll just have to do better in rebounding and defense.

And that's it. Quick updates on my life. Now to get a move on.


Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Animation Training

This whole week I will be busy at work with animation training from our animation director.

I've been animating professionally for four years now, and yet it still is a learning process. After one day's session with our trainor I could say I've found new tips and tricks on character animation. Hell, even the walk cycle we learned was something new for me. It's not as easy as my walk cycle, in fact it has more keyframes. But it does look smoother, animation wise. Plus this new technique of animating a walk cycle will be most beneficial because I can probably add more character to my, er, character with this. I've already seen the improvement in my walk cycle.

So today is another training day. I cannot wait for what we will do later.


Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Fate? Luck? God's Will?

I'll try to make this short and direct to the point.

When I was in college in ADMU, during one of our computer classes (I think it was database) my friends and I were downloading small quicktime movies of Spiderman the PS1 game. The teacher, naturally, caught us watching and asked us what it was we were doing. She wasn't angry or anything. Just curious. So I told her that one of the reasons I took up Comp Sci was so I could get a foot into the gaming industry.

This was partially a lie. While it was true that I was into gaming, I honestly took up Comp Sci because of the millenium bug. At that time (1999) I had no idea what would actually happen with the bug but I was expecting that by the time I graduated the demand for programmers would be large thanks to the bug wreaking havoc worldwide. Boy was I wrong. Fortunately (?) I didn't finish my Comp Sci career and I moved to ADNU, where I shifted from Information Management to Digital Illustration and Animation.

Because during my first sem in Naga, I told one of the teachers I'd like to work in EA Sports sometime in my life. This was less of a lie than the Spiderman thing. Now I was seriously hoping to get into gaming because this was something I was enjoying a whole lot. If I could play games then I sure as hell could help create better games since I was a gamer myself, right?

Fast forward to February 18, 2008. I start working for Anino Games. One of, if not, the biggest game developers here in the Philippines. I've already helped in tweaking some assets for a computer game which will be released sometime soon (I hope) and while the games I've been helping out on may not be as technically awesome as the "next gen / current gen" games, I am in the gaming industry already.

Sure I may have helped in creating assets for Ladyluck during my stay in Holy Cow! Animation, but that was a different story. We were subcontracted to create 3D assets for the game that would turn out to be Terrawars NY Invasion.

Now I'm IN a game company. I create 3D assets and rig and animate them. I'm part of the team that creates games, not just some "freelancer" who's asked to create one object. Sure we got credited for our help in Terrawars (they got my name wrong - Isagani Nanangas when it should be Isagani Nañagas or Isagani Nanagas since most people don't know how to write "ñ"). Now I've actually opened new doors for me. I'm in the gaming industry.

I don't even know if this is ironic. I used to tell people I'd like to work in games eventually, without any concrete plans to pursue that goal. And now I'm in gaming.

I am one lucky guy.


Wednesday, June 04, 2008



It's around 5:23am on a Wednesday morning. Too early to be awake, much less surfing the internet. And yet here I am. Blogging.

It's not that I don't want to blog, or that I don't want to surf. It's just that I woke up too friggin' early. I was up by 4am, to be honest. And rolling around in bed for an hour did not produce the result I was hoping for. Maybe it's because I've got this nagging feeling in the back of my head.

That nagging feeling is called work. Yes, I couldn't sleep because of what I was doing at work. Deadline's today, of course. I know I can finish it, I just don't know why I woke up so damn early. What's even stranger is that this hasn't happened to me since my office moved to Makati. This is the first time. Seriously.

So now here I am, blogging. In a few minutes my early alarm will sound, signaling me to get up and perform my usual morning routine.

Then I head off to work, do the usual 9 to 6 and leave. Get home. Sleep. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Not that I'm bored with work, mind you. I can honestly say that I am having a blast with game development. Working under more "limiting" requirements for 3D using a software that I am starting to become comfortable with has kept me on my toes.

Plus the rate of growth of my other 3D related skills has been a pleasant surprise. Rigging has always been my forte in Maya, and I am happy to know that it isn't so different in Max. Yes I can still rig and skin in Max as fast as I did in Maya, even faster because Max has better skinning tools.

Texturing has always been a weakness of mine but I seem to be performing quite well in that region too. I'd say my texturing skills have been average to above average.

But enough about work.

My alarm is going to ring in a while and I'd better clear my head already.


Thursday, May 29, 2008

Learning on the Fly

The more things change, the more they stay the same. These words were never more true than in my current job.

Sure I'm still a 3D artist. Sure the things I've learned before are still applicable to what I'm doing these days. But there are differences, some subtle and some blatant. Fortunately for me these differences aren't so hard that I can pretty much understand what needs to be done.

And if I don't understand it I still learn from my mistakes. So far I haven't bungled anything up big time.

I have learned a lot. I've learned new rigging techniques, I've learned new modeling techniques. Hell, I've learned that I'm actually a hell of a lot better in 3D than I thought. Must have been all those trainings in my previous job. Those times I had to do revisions for art directors who wanted their products tweaked even if those tweaks were almost totally unnoticeable to the naked eye. I mean, c'mon, increase a product size by 10%? I did that in 3D and I did not see the difference. Change the hue by .005? Shit, dawg, I didn't notice anything. And yet these art directors approved those changes. Must be why they're art directors. Either that or they're the greatest con men (and women - gotta be fair here) out there. Or they just feel like they need to say something so people will think they're doing they're goddamned jobs.

But back to the present.

Lotsa new things I've learned since shifting to 3DS Max. New rigs, new commands, new techniques. Plus I've also gotten an idea how people make games. And it is hard.

Fortunately the environment I'm in is excellent. I am in the right mix of working hard and playing hard. And I've got a lot of new officemates who are pretty good at what they do and these guys are helping me learn new things.

So while I can still use the things I've learned before, I've also managed to add a shitload of new things. And that is gravy.


Monday, May 19, 2008

Pondering Things...

Okay. It's 12:06AM. I should be asleep already and yet I am not. I've got a good idea why I can't sleep, and it's probably because I fell asleep this afternoon. It seems my body's gotten used to not getting any shutdown time during the day that it f*cks up my body clock whenever I do catch some afternoon shut eye.

This isn't the first time that this has happened. And every time I nap in the afternoon I cannot sleep at night.

So what am I to write about?

Work's been great so far. Just got assigned to a project recently. It's not that bad, and my skills are improving constantly. I'm also handling the 3DS Max a lot better now. It's not as second nature as how I handled Maya before, but it's getting there.

Speaking of Maya I should probably start practicing with it again, just so I don't forget most of the commands. I still remember some of the shortcut keys but it will be totally different once I start using that again.

My biggest problem now is what software to use for practice. I'd really like to use Maya again just to stay in shape with it, but modeling in Max has been a lot easier for me, what with all the ease of commands and the smoothing groups and stuff. Final models in Max eat up less polygons than what I used to make in Maya.

The big advantage I see when it comes to modeling in Maya is the image plane. You can create an image plane attached to the camera views in Maya, and adjust it's opacity. In Max you have to create a literal plane to attach an image on.

Blah blah blah, all technical stuff. I'm sure it's boring to you readers who don't know 3D. Bottom line is, both softwares have their strengths and weaknesses and I am glad that I know how to use both.

On to other things... Like, cars.

Two vehicles I'm currently fawning over that's being sold here in Manila are the Mitsubishi Outander and the Subaru Forrester.

The top of the line models of both cars cost almost the same, and no one seems to be doing any comparos of these two vehicles in the local car magazines.

From what I've read both are really nice, spacious vehicles. The Forrester has a slight edge in power and torque output while the Outlander does have that cool paddle shifter option AND a Rockford Fosgate sound system on the high end version. What the Forrester does have is an STi body kit.

Both of them use gasoline, both of them have huge engine displacements (I think the Subaru has a 2.5L engine, and the high end Mitsubishi has a 3.0L engine) so I can probably guess that they WILL be a bit thirsty for gas. Which isn't a good thing considering how expensive fuel is already.

But if I had the money to buy one of them I'd most likely get the Subaru, just because I like the Impreza a lot more than the Evo. Of course this could swing anytime as I am also a big fan of the Evo. That's another thing both vehicles have in common - WRC pedigree. The Outlander has Evo roots and the Forrester has Impreza roots.

The latest car I've been drooling over is the BMW 320d. Yes, 320d. A diesel. I've read the tech specs. According to it's web site it goes 12km/liter of diesel in urban areas and 18km/liter in non-urban (I forgot the exact term they used) areas. That is amazing. Plus it's a BMW.

I'd just add an AC Schnitzer body kit and BAM! A car that is a bit eco-friendly than other cars
and at the same time sporty. Who can go wrong with that? Plus the funny thing is the 320d has better diesel consumption than the 120d. What gives?

And so the purpose of this blog has been achieved. I wanted to write out some thoughts, and get myself sleepy enough that I can risk lying down again with a better chance of going to dreamland.


Sunday, May 04, 2008

I Am Iron Man

Holy. Shit.

I saw Iron Man the movie last Thursday here in Manila. And those were the two words that instantly came into my head.

Iron Man is so damned kickass as a movie. The acting was great, with Robert Downey Jr. pulling off an excellent Tony Stark. Terrence Howard playing Jim Rhodes was a bit strange, seeing as how the Jim Rhodes I remember from the comics was a more physically built, jock type character. But the acting was great for everyone.

Then the story. They stayed true to the origins of Iron Man, at the same time modernizing it and making it occur in Afghanistan instead of Vietnam, where the original Iron Man story took place. Another small change which fit the movie was in the number of suit prototypes. Sure he had all those years to develop prototypes and versions in the comics, which was why they only had to make 2 or 3 versions in the movie. I understand the constraints of a movie.

Which is why I totally enjoyed the movie.

The CG was also most excellent. My faith in CG has been restored, though there were times when you could clearly identify the CG character because of how it moved.

On a side note, isn't it interesting to reflect upon the fact that even though all the advances in technology have been made, CG animation for live action films seems to have taken massive steps backward? If you see the original Jurassic Park the animations of the dinosaurs there were almost flawless. They looked like they were really there. Then sooner or later animations started getting more obvious, maybe because too many directors or whatever are relying on motion capture technology. Maybe good old fashioned keyframes will help CG animation. Take a look at Pixar movies, the characters move so smoothly and so lifelike. But I digress.

Iron Man was a solid movie for me. It was so damn good I'd definitely want to get a DVD copy of it. That's how good it was.


Sunday, April 27, 2008

What Is This Blog?

Lately I've been thinking about the purpose of this blog. It seems that most of my posts recently have been either about my dream car or some weird rant.

Did I initially want to turn this blog into an online diary of intimate thoughts? Probably. I needed a space to vent, and strangely enough I decided to vent in cyberspace.

But I cannot say that this blog has deviated from it's original purpose. It is called "State of Ganations" and that's exaclty what it is. I write down my thoughts, those that I want to share with whoever happens to read this blog.

Plus I honestly don't think too many people read this blog. I rarely receive any comments.


Sunday, April 13, 2008

Oh Dear...

I was thinking it would be great to know how to use 2 different 3D softwares, and I was right! I know I'm not as prolific using 3DS Max as I am at using Maya, but I'm getting there. The fundamentals are the same anyway, techniques used in one software works for the other most of the time.

You just have to get past the subtle differences in terms in each software, plus the different hotkeys and commands. And that's it! I've successfully created a very low poly (actually triangle) object in Max, which was approved by my leads & heads. 92 triangles! Never expected I could actually build something that "light" when on average at my old job even a can reaches 1000 polys (quads, so that would be around 2000 triangles). The transition seems to be moving smoothly, with my only concerns the upcoming sprints. Will I be able to keep pace with what is needed or will I be considered an impediment? We shall see.

One problem I have now, though, is the fact that I can't navigate around Maya as fast as I could since I have almost totally adapted to 3DS Max now. I accidentally turned Maya on and tried fiddling with it, only to quit because a) I wasn't in the mood, and b) I was using Max shortcuts in it. Hahaha.

But I am still serious when I say I have to practice with Maya. Soon. It would be a shame to forget how to use that software since it has it's strong points, just like Max has it's own strong points.


Friday, March 28, 2008

A Dream Car

In all honesty, the most realistic car I can afford if I stay in the Philippines is a second-hand car. A brand new one seems out of reach, even if I borrow from the bank.

Plus, lets face it, it is really impractical to pay for a car for 3 years or over. Why? Because for most multi-national companies with car plans, if you get a company car now after three, four, or five years the car is turned over to you or sold to you for a really cheap price. Because each year the value of the car depreciates by around 25%. So in other words if you pay for a car for four years, by the time you're paying for it in the 4th year you would be spending on something with technically no value anymore. But I digress.

What second-hand car am I talking about? While second-hand Toyotas, Hondas and other brand cars are available in good condition and also affordable, there is one car I can realistically afford even now. And that car is the Volkswagen Beetle.

No, not the New Beetle. I mean the classic Beetle. When I was young my father owned one. I used to tease my father and belittle the car. But as I grew older I realized how nice that car was.

For one thing, I used to read comic books on it. Yes, on top of the hood. The windshield was my backrest. It was perfect. The metal was strong enough to support my weight. Plus it gave me a chance to work on my tan.

Another good thing about the Beetle is the fact that it is a classic car. It's an icon, something the New Beetle never achieved. The Beetle was the people's car. Everyone used to own one.

I'm pretty sure I can get one of those cars in good working condition (meaning the engine, brakes, transmission, suspension are reliable, the body doesn't have too much structural damage, and the electrical is still fine) for around P50k - P80k. Besides, what makes you think that I'd just buy a Beetle and leave it alone?

I'd modify the car. First things first, I'd probably try to improve the sound system, and replace the generator with an alternator. It doesn't have to be a killer sound system, but it should be enough to entertain me on my trips.

Next thing I'd do is try to improve the lights and wipers. Get brighter halogens for headlights, and LEDs for brake and signal lights. Try to add a wiper to the rear windshield. Maybe even replace the headlight and brake light housings.

Then I'd fix the brakes. If I can replace all brakes with disc brakes, even better. Make sure the brake hoses have steel lining. I know that seems overkill but you'll understand why I'm going for that.

Because then I'd have the engine fixed. Total overhaul, engine balancing, engine blueprinting. I'm going to make sure that whatever engine I get (although I'm hoping it's a 1600cc engine) will be able to perform to it's best. Because I'm going dual-carbs for the engine. Then I'm going to follow my dad's advice and play around with the oil line so that I can have a makeshift oil cooling system, since the Beetle has no radiator.

Then I'd put a short-throw shifter for the transmission. Maybe add power steering as a final touch before I do my finishing touch (outside of a repaint)...

I'm going to buy new fenders, install them, shave off the ends, buy new suspension, buy new wheels and turn my Beetle into a Baja Bug. That's right. I'm turning my Beetle, if I had one, into an off-road capable monster.


Thursday, March 20, 2008

Ramblings About My Professional Career

This will be a long and rambling blog, as I see it now. It's been quite a long while since I wrote down anything. And before I begin to write about whatever I choose to write, some excuses first as to why I haven't written in a while...

1. Haven't had much time to surf the net. Yes up to now I haven't set-up the internet router at home. My dad says it's just better to get the "modem" (or whatever it is you call that unit to connect to DSL is) from one computer to the other rather than setting up the router and keeping it on 24/7.

2. When I do get a chance to surf I have very limited time to do so. Because now I usually surf the net for about 30 minutes every morning before going to work. Why not at night? Because at night I just want to relax and watch some nice TV shows (and play my PS3 - yes I have a PS3).

3. What I want to write isn't necessarily for everyone's eyes. Believe me, I've been planning on writing stuff down for the past few weeks. But when I do get in the mood to lay down my thoughts I realize that it's not a good idea. These are thoughts that are best kept for myself and maybe for my good friends who can help me out with their opinions. On a side note I realize the dangers of writing stuff down on a blog as I've been quoted before one someone else's blog. And my quote was definitely not G-rated as it was full of swear words and the like. Plus I was not even aware that I was quoted until one day when I decided to Google myself. This made me realize that once I write it on my blog it's considered available to the public. So ever since then all I've written on my blog are the things I don't mind people knowing.

Anyway on to my rant.

It's been a month since I started my new job in a new field. Yes, I still do 3D but not in advertising anymore. It's been a bit difficult, but the things I have learned this past month has been worth it. Not only have I learned how to use a new 3D software, but I have also learned new techniques in modeling and texturing.

I never fully realized how stagnant I was with regards to my skills in my previous job. My skills had stagnated to the point that I had lost confidence in my ability to do 3D. Which was also my wake up call to take it to another level. And I hope I did, and I hope that my new boss will decide to keep me (I'm only a trainee in my new job and they can still get rid of me in the event that they think I'm not worth keeping - but that's just me being paranoid, at least I think so. It's also me preparing myself for the possibility of not being retained. We'll see. We'll see.).

I also didn't realize that I still have a long way to go in terms of socializing with other people. This world is a melting pot of different cultures, attitudes, and whatnot and I cannot just isolate myself to a specific group of people all the time. Maybe this comes with working in a bigger office environment. My new job has 2 - 3 times more employees than my old office, and interacting with people is a lot more important here than before.

This past month has been quite the eye opener for me. And I have to say that it has been a mostly positive experience for myself. Meeting new people, learning new techniques, making new friends (at least I hope I made friends) and just opening myself up to wider horizons has been a breath of fresh air.

And while I have moved on to better things now, I still miss my old job. Maybe because I was just in my comfort zone there. Always content with everything because of the convenience of everything. But that just made me gather a lot of moss, figuratively speaking. Now that I've started rolling again, I feel that the sky is the limit. Maybe more.

So we'll see what happens these next few weeks. As of now, I can only savor the new things I am experiencing. Not only the new techniques and people I meet, but the renewed sense of energy and passion I have for 3D. To be quite honest, it feels almost exactly like how I felt when I started my first job. All excited and eager to learn. All passionate and willing to show people my skills. It feels great. Ups and downs are all a part of the show, and as a good friend once told me, it's how you get up from a fall that counts.


Wednesday, March 05, 2008

Trivia Fun with YM

On the way to work yesterday I was following a Kia Carnival somewhere in Alabang. The funny thing was, the "C" in "Carnival" was gone, leaving only "arnival." This got me thinking, wasn't that similar to what they called the sauce for taho? Yup. The sauce for taho is called arnibal.

So I put this as my messenger status message: Ano tawag sa sarsa ng taho?

After a few minutes, a friend of mine answered correctly. Then, an officemate. Then another friend. It was on!

I tallied the results of those who answered. 6 out of 7 were correct.

What does this mean?

Well, for one thing, a lot of people know what the sauce of taho is. And for another, a lot of people read other people's status messages. I know I do. And it's really cool that people will give me an answer even if it was just from my status message. Next time I need to know something trivial then I guess I know just where to ask.

So a big thanks to those who answered, right or wrong, at least you guys took time out to help out someone.


Sunday, March 02, 2008


It has been a really long time since I last posted an entry here. And it's not as if I had no plans of blogging or writing anything down. I had a ton of ideas I wanted to write down, some of them I've forgotten about, others I've realized I should not be sharing - yet.

So many things I wanted to do, so little time and resources to see them to fruition. I honestly wanted to make my blogs more frequent, since it seems that my posts per year have been dropping (while my weight has been increasing - but that's another story).

Now that I'm back on the keyboard and actually blogging I have no idea what to write. I'm not in the mood to put down my thoughts. But I have a feeling in a few weeks I'll be posting here more frequently as I am about to face new challenges in life.

We'll see.


Saturday, February 16, 2008

Midnight Blogging

I've noticed a few things since I started blogging, with regards to blogging.

1. The number of posts I've done per year has decreased. It started with around 89 posts my first year of blogging. Then 56, then 49 I think. What does this mean? Well, I think first of all I've mellowed down since I started this blog. This was originally supposed to be a b*tch blog, where I vent out what I feel about life in general. And if you look back to my earlier posts, this was true. Boy, was I venting.

2. The quality of my writing has deteriorated. Maybe this has something to do with me mellowing down too. Earlier posts were edgy and not quite your usual formats of paragraphs and sentences. One word sentences in one sentence paragraphs. Plus all the angst made my words different. I was more articulate when I was angry, I guess. Or maybe now that I've mellowed down I have no need to vent. I don't know.

3. More "survey" posts rather than personal posts. Check it out. Lotsa "which are you?" or random surveys. Less personal blogs. And majority of my personal posts were just random updates on my life. Nothing interesting. Again, maybe because I've mellowed.

What does this mean? Well, for one, I miss my old writing style. It had an edge, it was different, it was entertaining, and it was damn good. I could make a point using a non-traditional writing style. Scoop Jackson was my writing hero. Now I just ramble.

Plus I'm sorta grateful that I've mellowed down and the angst has sorta died down. It just means either I've grown numb to the crap that happens at work, or I've just become experienced enough not to let the small things bother me. Either way it shows I've grown.

That's not too bad.


Wednesday, February 13, 2008


Have any of you heard that new promo of Clear Anti-Dandruff Shampoo? The "Have a Black Valentine" commercial?

Well the gist of the commercial is to buck the trend and wear black this Valentine's Day. Yes, why be like everyone else wearing red when you can wear black and stand out in a crowd, with and added bonus of dandruff-free hair!

Okay, the thing that annoys me most about this commercial is the fact that they want us to be different so let's all wear black. Well what if everyone wants to be different so everyone wears black? Then everyone will be the same again.

The media dictates fashion trends and whatnot. They tell us what is nice and what isn't. What looks good when you wear it and all. I remember when I was in grade 7 and low-waist pants were starting to gain momentum I was laughed at at school because my pants were where the original waistline should be.

Anyway my point is why would you listen to what other people think you should wear? If that was the case then you're no different than the others who listen to the media too. If you really want to be different then wear what you think is good, not what the media says is good.

So for a totally different Valentine's Day, just go out and have some fun. To hell with what color clothes you wear...

... and don't forget: when it rains wear a raincoat.


Friday, February 01, 2008


Well today is my official first day without a job. Though I did take yesterday off so I've been a bum for two days. (Why do I keep talking about the fact that I have no work anymore? Maybe it's because it's a new feeling. I have been working for nearly 4 years, after all.)

Got my gym membership cancelled without a hitch, thank goodness. Now I can spend the whole month of February working out before surrendering my card.

That's basically all I have to write.


Thursday, January 31, 2008

Captain Procrastination

Right. Yesterday was my last day at work (unofficially, I guess) so here I am at home.

I was planning on doing a lot of things here now that I've got no job. Cleaning my room, moving into my grandmother's room, practicing 3D, cancelling my gym membership, yadda yadda yadda. You get the drift.

So what have I done so far? I've tried modeling a face in 3D, and it sucks. Where has my mojo gone? First day out of work and my "mad" skills in 3D has left me. Damn.

I've also bonded with my Playstation 2 quite well. Aside from that? My room's still a mess and I haven't moved into my grandmother's room. So there. Captain Procrastination strikes again. Lots of things to do, no drive to do them.

At least I managed to start modeling a face in 3D. The only problem I see is that the face looks good front view but once I go into perspective it starts looking like an alien, which is not what I intended it to be. I am using a car-show girl named Jenny Chu as template for the face. I did one before in the office, never finished it. So I thought it would be a good idea to start all over again now. Plus aim even higher, by rigging her face so she can speak and make facial expressions. I've got all the time in the world anyway.

Well, not really. I've got lots of paperwork to fix, first and foremost of which is the goddamned gym membership. Gotta cancel it TODAY so that my last month will be February. Hopefully I won't have to pay for anything, and I hope that they won't bug me not to cancel it. It's a free country anyway.

So I am out of a job. Because I resigned. Because I am tired. Ironic things happen, like the fact that after filing my resignation our office got a character animation project. It has been a fact among my 3D friends in the office that I've always wanted to do another character animatino project and now I have no chance to participate. Maybe that's the reason why I decided to model again at home. Plus it'll keep me from getting rusty, right?

Well I've procrastinated again. By blogging this time. Amazing.


Monday, January 28, 2008


Last January 14, 2008 I filed my resignation. This will be my last week in the office.

It's been a roller coaster ride for nearly four years. Ups and downs, highs and lows, good times and bad times. But as they say, a rolling stone gathers no moss. And I haven't rolled in ages.

While it is difficult to leave something behind after so long, I also realize that I have to move on and meet new people. I've been around this 3D industry in the Philippines for all of my professional life, which is nearly four years only. Yes I'm still working at my first job.

I think it's time to expand my horizons, meet new people and face new challenges. Whatever job opportunity I enter after leaving my current company I will face with an open-mind (and an empty stomach). Hopefully my passion for 3D will be re-energized.

I will be taking some time off, I know it's a contradiction of what I've been saying. I've always told people that they should never quite their jobs until they find a job they can transfer to. Well, shame on me I guess. But the work has been tiring.

I'm looking forward to my time off. I'm looking forward to whatever new opportunities I get. I'm looking forward to shedding the moss that has accumulated around me and rolling off to whatever new destination I'm bound to get to.


Saturday, January 26, 2008

Kinopya ko kay Chito na Kinopya niya kay Third

1.Ano ang mas madalas mo pindutin: Delete or Backspace?

2.Raincoat, umbrella o sugod sa ulan?

3.sometimes you hate cellphones because___?
the buttons don't work properly

4.Paano mo patayin ang ipis?

5.Anong una mong pinupuntahan sa mall?

6.Nahulog kna ba sa Stairs?
yata. lasing ako nung time kaya di ko maalala.

7.Msg mo sa mahal mo?
sa aming dalawa na lang yon

9.gano ka kafunny?
tanungin mo mga kaibigan ko

10.Have you fallen in love with your best friend?

11.Naiilang ka ba pag ikaw lang ang kumakain at nakatingin lang ang mga kasama mo?
nang-iinggit puwede pa

12.Bakit may mga taong manhid?
bakit hindi?

13.pano ka magalit?

14.Anong Maganda/Masarap Gawin sa Outing w/Barkada?
tamang inuman at kuwentuhan na may kasamang ihawan pa

15.How was your 2007 Summer?
ayos naman

16.How long was your longest telebabad?
4 hours ata

17.Last place uv been to?
one legazpi place, pare. (may party akong pinuntahan doon)

18.They say you are:
the diplomatic rex

19.How old are you?

Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Random Sentimental Stuff

Ever had a dream that was so nice, so "perfect" that you wish you never woke up? Then did it ever happen to you that you did wake up, saw it was still not time to get up, fall asleep again and the dream continued?

Well that's what happened to me last night. I still remember parts of the dream. It made me feel very relaxed and happy today. No, I won't tell you what my dream was. Only that it was very nice, made me feel very warm and fuzzy inside. No, it was NOT a wet dream either.

I'm just curious as to what triggered this dream. Could it have been the best of Bon Jovi CD I listened to last night? And why is it that when I was on the way to work this morning, I had to (and still am) listening to the same best of Bon Jovi on my old, 4th generation, yet still reliable, iPod?

Maybe it's because Bon Jovi is as close to "senti" music I can listen to. Not that I don't like love songs or anything, it's just that I really can't listen to those things. So the closest bands I listen to when I get sentimental are Bon Jovi, 10000 Maniacs, and even the ballads of Dream Theater. Which is not necessarily considered music sentimental people listen to. But that's just me.

Anyway a lot of changes are in store for 2008. Some changes are happening as we speak. I've decided to try to break out of my comfort zone and maybe try to aim for the stars. Achieve more. Take a break. Enjoy life. Be a nicer person. Maybe even try to become a more active Christian. No, maybe not the last one. But you catch my drift.

Some events are already in motion, and I don't feel comfortable mentioning them yet on this blog. But changes are surely afoot.

All I can say is 2007 was a roller coaster ride, but I want 2008 to be a smooth bullet train ride where I tell the train where to stop and how fast to go. It's time I started taking control of my destiny.


Friday, January 11, 2008

Analyzing My Fantasy Basketball Team

So the past post I put up I was basically ranting about how my fantasy league team record sucked. And it did. If got two "go-to" guys and a couple of complementary players who are "worthy" of being a go-to guy once in a while. But since this is a fantasy league, the numbers my team puts up are mediocre at best. I rarely excel in more than one (ONE!!!) fantasy league category, which I assume is assists. Most are mediocre, sub-t0-mid 40% FG percentage. Free throws are a problem. Blocks, steals. You name it, it's an issue.

So here I go. I'll give my comments so far on each player I have on my team.

Tony Parker (PG) - Would have been excellent as a UTL on my team because he provides points and some assists, but I never expected him to be a starter. Sadly the injury and knee operation Agent Zero Gilbert Arenas got has forced TP to be my starting PG. He can score and drop dimes but his numbers aren't that great.
PPG 20.6 RPG 3.20 APG 6.6

Joe Johnson (SG) - He's had an up and down year, lacking in consistency. I was expecting a PPG 24 RPG 4 APG 4 player this year after the season he had last year. But alas his numbers are somewhat down. Great assist numbers for a shooting guard, though. But that's it.
PPG 21.5 RPG 4.00 APG 5.4

Stephen Jackson (SF) - I drafted him, cut him (because he was suspended the first 7 games of the season), and got him again as a high risk / high reward player. Plus he plays 3 positions (SG, SF, PF) and he has rewarded me greatly. I never expected him to post such all-around numbers, but I feel like he'd be better off as a UTL than my SF. But I had to move him to SF because my previous starting SF (AK47) got injured. More on the latter later.
PPG 20.9 RPG 5.70 APG 3.9

Lamar Odom (PF) - My current favorite NBA player (since my old favorites are either not playing anymore or at the twilight of their careers - eg. Webber, Sprewell, Grant Hill) and someone I should not have gotten in the 2nd round. Sadly favoritism overruled my competitive nature and I got a guy oozing with talent but so damned inconsistent. He gives decent rebounding numbers but that's it. His assists are down, his scoring is down. This guy was supposed to be the Scottie Pippen to Kobe's Michael Jordan. He's brilliant one game, then commits a brain fart the next (honestly, what were you thinking when you tackled Ray Allen?!?). He should be better off as a UTL player but sadly my front court is severly lacking. PPG 13.8 RPG 9.10 APG 2.5

Tyson Chandler (C) - Centers are the hardest to come by in the NBA these recent years. I thought I had a sure thing in Chandler. He has been consistent, giving good rebounding numbers. I sorta expected more out of him in the blocks department. But he's not even getting 2 BPG. Oh well. At least he's putting up better numbers than Ben Wallace. Though I wish I got Andrew Bynum.
PPG 12.1 RPG12.10 APG 1.0

Rashad McCants (UTL) - I took a risk on this guy because early on in the season he was producing great numbers. Now I've read that he's in the coach's doghouse, plus his play has been erratic. Someone I might consider dropping if I find a better UTL replacement.
PPG 15.1 RPG 2.80 APG 2.1

Al Harrington (UTL) - Here was a player I had high hopes for. Another guy who plays mutliple positions (SF, PF, C) who I thought would flourish in the Warriors' offense. A big man with decent handles and long range, he's been inconsistent this season (which seems to be the common theme my players have) but has had flashes of brilliance. I just wish he would get his act together.
PPG 14.5 RPG5.20 APG 1.7

Darko Milicic (Bench) - Another wasted pick. He's one of my other favorite NBA players (because he's a lefty like me, and because I seem to be magnetized to players with so much potential yet the inability to consitently tap into it - eg Lamar Odom, Darius Miles, Quentin Richardson) and I was hoping that moving to a new team with a run-and-gun tempo would rejuvenate Darko. He's been good with his national team but he seems to disappear in the NBA. Whatever happened to his competitive fire? Wasn't he threatening to rape the referees wives and daughters during the Euroleague Championships or something? Where is that passion in the NBA?!? Sheesh. I know I should drop him for someone else but seeing as how I am already thin in the front court I may keep him. (Although right now Travis Outlaw is a free agent in our league so... I may just drop Darko)
PPG 6.8 RPG 6.00 APG 1.2

Andrei Kirilenko (Bench) - Another high-risk pick I took. I was expecting a sort of rebirth for him this year. After his stellar Euroleague play and the fact that he and Coach Sloan of the Jazz were supposed to have talked things over. His assists are great but that's it. Defensively his numbers aren't that great anymore. His scoring is low again. And his rebounding is just a bit too low for someone who's 6 ft 9 inches. He was my starting SF but then he got this back ailment and hasn't played since, I think. Then again, inserting Captain Jack into the starting lineup may have been a good move.
PPG 11.5 RPG 6.00 APG 4.8

Gilbert Arenas (Bench) - Biggest disappointment I got. Had so much hope for this guy this year. I believe I talked about him my previous post. Just a waste for my team. I could've been great this year if Agent Zero was playing because coupled with Joe Johnson and Tony Parker we could've been secure in the points category. Oh well.
PPG 22.4 RPG4.40 APG 5.9

And that's it. I just analyed my whole fantasy league team.


Wednesday, January 09, 2008

Fantasy Basketball

It's like this. Every year my high school classmates and I compete in fantasy basketball. Most recently we used the services of's Ultimate Fantasy Commissioner.

Now I usually end up losing fantasy leagues as I always pick my favorite players. During the 2006-2007 season I ended up making the playoffs because I got Kobe Bryant (by luck) and Al Jefferson, who turned into a beast during that season.

This year? My first round pick was Agent Zero, Gilbert Arenas. During the 06-07 season Gil was phenomenal, ranking in the top five (I think) in scoring. So I was happy to get him. Here was a guy who was consistent and could help me win games. Then what happens?

Gil shuts it down to get surgery on his knee, which as it turns out isn't as all right as I was hoping it to be.

I'm not hating on Gil, in fact I wish him the speediest and best recovery so he can come back better. I'm just saying it sucks that now I have no go-to guy on my team. I'm losing in almost every category. I have some players who come up with some spectacular games, but they aren't as consistent as Agent Zero.

I have Joe Johnson, Tony Parker, Stephen Jackson, and Andrei Kirilenko. To name a few. And they aren't as consistent as I need them to win.

So now I'm at the bottom of my league. Whoop-de-doo.

Oh well.