Wednesday, December 24, 2008

My Christmas Wishlist

I've been reading quite a number of blogs with Christmas wish list posts. Well, here's mine - on the eve of Christmas, no less. I'll be including far out wishes with attainable wishes. And most of these will be material. Oh yes, they will be material.

1. A new desktop computer. Not really the whole shebang, all I really need are the internal components for a new CPU. AMD Phenom X4, 4gb RAM, nice video card, 160gb and 320gb hard drives and a new dvd-writer. That's it. As for peripherals, I'd like to ask for a Wacom Bamboo Fun tablet and a 300gb external hard drive. And those new 22" HD 1080 ready LCD monitors wouldn't hurt either.

2. A 1-bedroom loft condominium unit with 1 car parking space right smack dab in the middle of Makati CBD (central business district - I think). Or at least the afformentioned condo unit. What I'd really appreciate is the 2-bedroom loft condominium unit. And the 1 car parking space. Why the parking space?

3a. A black Subaru Impreza WRX STi. With 18 inch silver rims, yellow HID lamps, and maybe slightly tuned to improve either performance or fuel economy.

3b. A black Lexus IS250 fully outfitted with the F-Sport kit. It's either this or the Scooby. I don't want both. I can always walk or commute if the car can't be taken out due to the number coding scheme. I'm not THAT greedy... Yet?

4a. Dean Guitars FBD Dimebag Tribute guitar. Since I've been playing the guitar again, I figure this will be a good incentive to improve.

4b. Gibson SG electric guitar. Just because Tony Iommi used an SG during his early Black Sabbath days.

4c. Gibson Les Paul. The. Best. Rock. Guitar. Ever.

5. A brand new US PS3 with the biggest hard drive size and HDMI cables. My PS3 is conking out on me despite not being a year in use. I can have it fixed but wouldn't it be better if I could get a new one isntead? Indeed.

6. A 40" HD1080 ready LCD TV. True, there is no HD ready station in the Philippines. But my slightly damaged PS3 is HD capable. So there you go.

7. Any Marshall amp, wah-wah pedal, flanger, and chorus plus all the necessary cables. I almost forgot about these. For the electric guitar, of course.

That's about it, I guess. If I forgot any more, too bad. But off the top of my head, these are the things I'd like to have. Of course I only need one each from wishlist 3 and 4.

Well, that's my Christmas wishlist.


Sunday, December 14, 2008

Random Musings

I guess it's time to "open up" about work a lot more than I usually do. I will be mentioning some incidents but I will be as general as possible. After all, this is my blog and I am free to write about what I want to write, while at the same time respecting my right to privacy at the same time.

What a year it has been. I left my first ever job and moved into a new job. I was thinking it would be a great opportunity to learn new stuff in my chosen field, and I was right.

I learned how to use new techniques and new software. I was able to expand my knowledge on some software I was currently using. I learned to be more confident of my skills. I also managed to get myself exposed to more people in 3D, and I was able to compare myself to them, skills-wise. I'd have to say that I now know I can hold my own against other 3D artists. That is a fact, and not some delusion I have.

I also got "promoted" to lead artist. That is also a good thing. It shows that the company I work for trusts me and realizes how skilled I am. Not a bad thing to happen, considering I haven't even reached one year working for this company.

But bad things also happened. We got raided for using pirated software. That's true. We got stuck in limbo for a few months.

Then the company lays off a good number of people. This had something to do with the global economic crisis, and I guess it also had something to do with "cleansing the company of bad apples." I'm not blind and I'm not stupid, either. I do know that there were other motives aside from financial when they did the retrenchment.

But that's not my problem. That's the company's problem. I just have to do my job everyday. And I have no problems with that. All my concern is my job security. Because just last Friday another one was let go. This coming week will be his last week. The company just got him to finish his tasks then boom.

That worries me. Because I'm also about to finish a certain task for the company. Who's to stop them from letting me go after I finish my task?

Then again, I really don't mind if that happens. For one, I will be free to look for better opportunities. Another, all the experiences I've had this past year have made me stronger in so many ways. Even the negatives gave me an edge, because now I know how to deal with those things.

So if ever I am let go, the only one who'll come out of the losing end is the company. Why? Because I'm good - they know it and I know it. Also, they still got me cheap. My pay is acceptable, but I know I am worth more. Plus if ever they let me go I am almost 100% sure I won't be going back to work for them (unless they offer me a salary upwards of P35k next time).

Yes, I have a price. Everything has a price in this modern world we live in. I can't feed myself with thanks and praise. I need money. Sad as that sounds.


Tuesday, December 09, 2008

Down the Drain?

Shit has once again hit the fan. At the end of November the company I work for had to retrench a good number of people. The reason being that we are in a global economic crisis right now, and business isn't really good. Clients haven't really been looking for companies to do their projects, since they're not even sure how much budget they can release for their future projects.

From a business standpoint, I totally understand the decision. You've got to keep the company alive, and it's better to sacrifice a few people rather than keeping everyone then eventually folding. The "lives" of many outweigh the "lives" of a few, yadda yadda yadda. Desperate times call for desperate measures. Indeed.

From a human standpoint, I'm crushed. I've made good friends in the company, and most of them were hit with the retrenchment. It's sad because one of the first clients to stop giving us projects was the clients of my good friends. Technically we're just three of the original five. And I won't be surprised if that number lessens sooner rather than later.

I do have other friends in the office, but the ones I usually hung out with were those guys. And now one by one they are moving on. You might be wondering why I am not hit with the retrenchment. It's because I'm in a different department. They were in the architectural department and I'm in the game dev department. The reason I got close to them was when I entered the company I started my training in the same room they were in.

Oh and have I mentioned that the 3D game dev department is now a one man team? Yep. I'm the 3D game dev department. Sucks. I was recently endorsed to be the lead artist for the 3D game dev team and now I have no team. Oh the irony.

But to be honest, despite the fact that it does depress me, I soldier on. I have to. Getting mired in depression will only make matters worse, and I have to admit, I am a professional. It all boils down to the fact that I have to do my job because that is the reason they pay me.

In a way you could say I have been desensitized to what's happening. I've become numb to my own grief at the loss of good friends. I've adopted my old belief that I don't go to work to make friends, I go there to do my job - if I make any friends then that's just bonus.

As for my friends who got the axe, on the bright side they are not tied down anymore. They are now free to seek better opportunities, whether here or abroad, and better fortunes without having to worry about resigning and the process that comes with resigning. And I wish them the best of luck.


PS - It may seem odd that I suddenly opened up with this online, considering I try to avoid revealing too much about myself and my life here. But to be honest I have tried to make this post as general as possible, and I have not named any names. So if any of you figure out what the heck I'm talking about then that just means you know me pretty well.

PPS - If the format of this post is a lot different than my other posts it's because I am using a Mac laptop instead of my usual PC, reason being that my PC has a bad case of a keylogger virus and I'm not sure if I effectively removed it or not. Oh well - a few more weeks and I'll be upgrading anyway.