I AM Rasheed Wallace

These were the exact words that flooded into my brain as I lay awake at around 2:30am trying to fall asleep on a cold, hard floor. This was hours before D-Day for a project I was working on.

I had sacrificed my entire weekend and most of my weeknights just to stay and finish this project. We managed to finish it but not on time. We were probably a few hours delayed. I really can't complain since most of the team put out their best efforts, plus with such a short timetable our room for errors were nil. And this was the project where Murphy's law reared it's ugly head almost every opportunity. So it was still a job well done, considering the circumstances.

Anyway why was I comparing myself to Rasheed Wallace?

Cutting through all traces of humility, I am a really talented 3D artist. I work fast, my output has quality, I am a team player, I go the extra mile, I don't abandon my team when my tasks are done (staying behind to give either moral support or help out others who may need it), I learn things fast, and I am more than willing to do what has to be done. Just like Rasheed Wallace. He's always been there for his team. From the write-ups I've read about him on the internet most of his teammates enjoy having him on the team because of the positives he brings.

Rasheed Wallace is a multi-talented basketball player. He can post up, has a good mid-range shot, he can consistently bury the 3-point shot AND he plays good defense. I am an all-around 3D artist. I can model, rig, texture (up to a certain degree), animate, render, and composite works.

But 'Sheed also has his weaknesses. His emotions. Just like me. Rasheed can win a game for his team or lose it, depending on his emotions on any given day. If he plays with just the right amount of fire and control he can be unstoppable. But once his emotions start taking over he usually helps in the downfall of his team.

Just like me. I can help out anytime with the project and do amazing things with my skills. But once my emotions start taking over, I can also slow down the project. And I'm not just saying anger as an emotion. Yes I do get angry and it sometimes makes me lose focus. But there are other emotions. Like jealousy. Jealousy when I see someone else taking it easy, knowing that everyone else is giving 120% just to get something done. Jealousy over knowing that someone is getting more credit just because that someone knows how to market himself / herself better than me. Jealousy over seeing someone do almost nothing and rise to the top on sweet sounding bullshit that higher ups buy. (This has nothing to do with my current job ONLY, as this has been how I have been feeling since my previous job.)

But one thing I feel I have better than Rasheed has been self-control. I've been able to contain my emotions and set aside my negative feelings for the greater good of the team. So far. And it's because of this that I am proud that I have (so far) never been an impediment to the team.

Out.