Confessions of a Frustrated Guitarist

Damn. I'm 24 now turning 25. I've got a good job, and I'm earning good cash. I'm also at the point where my responsibilities are now greater than ever.

And now I get better at playing the guitar.

I started with my fascination in guitars in grade school. Grade 6. 1993. Guns N' Roses, Metallica, Pantera, Megadeth, they were my idols. I picked up a guitar, learned the basic power chord shape, and I thought I was the best guitarist in the world.

High school came along. So did Dream Theater, Led Zeppelin, and Black Sabbath. Now I shifted to "playing lead guitar". Thinking I could do guitar noodling, thinking I was the best. I didn't need practice. The emotions will guide me. I was a metalhead.

College came around. Dave Matthews Band, Wolfgang, and Parokya ni Edgar dominated my CD player.

Detour to Naga, where I became enamored with Wolfgang's Acoustica album. Even learned some of their songs with my roommate Geem, jamming. Still I "played" lead. Still, no practice. Hey, I read a few magazine articles about how to play. Even got a mag about how to play jazz, so my "solos" and my "licks" were jazzy/bluesy. At least they sounded like that because I was just re-hashing what I learned. Adding bits of experimentation here and there, sounding nice.

And now I'm working. Too old to think I can still have a music career. Too old to dream about forming a band. And now, I play guitar to relieve stress. Now I practice the finger exercises. Now I take it slowly, realizing I'm no Petrucci. Iommi even. Now I just play to relax. I can't even play now, since every time I pick up my guitar I just do the finger exercises I learned from Doug Marks and John Petrucci. I don't even remember most of the songs I used to play. So I practice. When its all to late, I practice.

AND NOW, OF ALL TIMES, IS THE ONLY TIME I CAN PLAY THE FIRST SOLO IN METALLICA'S ONE. Dammit. And not only that, if I had my electric guitar with me I'd be able to play the SECOND SOLO as well. Because only now are my fingers getting faster and more coordinated.

Dammit. Why did I only start practicing now?!?

Oh, well.

State of (Ga)Nations Address

You've probably noticed by now that I've got a new blog title, and a new blog description. I've decided to gently renovate the site, for a couple of reasons.

1. Too many people using the line "Rants and _____".
2. Too many people using the line "random thoughts..."
3. Doppelganger. Very original, you crummy bastard.

I decided to go with State of (Ga)Nations, because some people used to call me Ganations. Long story. Plus its more unique than "Rants and Ramblings", my former blog's name.

As for the description, well, why not?

As for doppelganger, if you're reading this, I hope you get a conscience. Or some creativity. I know I do what others do too but I make sure that when I do it doesn't look like a TOTAL FRIGGIN' RIP-OFF of what they're doing. EMULATION is the sincerest form of flattery, not imitation. And I would be effin' insulted if you imitated me, you crummy bastard. I can forgive. But I can NEVER, EVER, EVER, FORGET.

As for me, I'm fine. Brain's cooling down, less work. More relaxation. Now I gotta recharge for the projects which I'm pretty sure will arrive.

Life's the same. But great.

As Better Than Ezra said (I'm listening to them right now, courtesy of my seatmate/officemate Enzo) "Oh, oh, its good."

Another Rant...

Music is great. It affects my mood and my focus on work. So right now these are the songs constantly playing in my iPod...

Metallica S&M
Megadeth Rust in Peace and Countdown to Extinction
Black Sabbath's old songs
Mad Season (Layne Staley and Jerry Cantrell and others, not the album of Rob Thomas)
Led Zeppelin BBC Sessions and Remasters

I love listening to music. Specially rock and roll and "old school" heavy metal. Not much into the new stuff. Some of them are great but I'd rather be stuck in my time warp of songs. Nothing beats classics. New songs I hear now are still great, but if you listen to them you'll find the influence of old songs. I can hear hints of Sabbath, Soundgarden, Led Zep, Rolling Stones, etc. in most songs now. I can't point out specifically, but they're there.

Though there are some bands now that I like listening to. I just don't want to buy their albums. I'd rather spend my cash on something else.

*Anyone wanna form a band? Plays rock, 80s glam rock and blues? Hehe. Just a thought. I miss high school, when I had a band.

A Rant on Work

Okay. It's like this. Most of the 3D artists working here in Manila are veterans. And most of them came from just one company. The first. The pioneer. They are pioneers.

Despite their differing backgrounds they all shared one common thing. They were all pioneers of 3D. And they all share that bond, that no matter how different they are in beliefs, that bond will keep them together, in a way.

So what happens when a new grad of a hotshot course in computer animation suddenly enters a company with veterans? Well for one thing, the newbie has to earn the respect of the veterans. Not by being cocky and hotshot, but by being a team player. By being open to their teachings, and by being competent enough to hold their ground and prove that they can hang with the big boys.

In my case its been a year since I've been working. And I'm still trying to prove to them that I can be like them. Good. Passionate. Amazing. So far its been positive. I've been able to show that I can perform at a high level and get approval, not only from them, but from our directors also.

One cannot hope to be in good terms with the 3D artists if one tries to show them up, despite the fact that those guys are, well, gods. They started things here. The edge they have in terms of experience is way way way too great. Even if you studied a course related to what they do. Why? Because these guys love their job. And these guys are passionate about it. And these guys have been working in this industry for so many years that they know a lot more tricks than someone who just graduated.

What's the best thing to do when you get an opportunity to work with these people? Learn. Be humble. Earn their respect. Don't force yourself into the group or you will regret it. And never rest on your laurels. Because if you earn their respect and you start relaxing, you'll lose it just like that.

My mom told me that no matter what job you have, if the $hit hits the fan the job sucks. You'll be down and pissed. But once you overcome the problems, you've got the best job in the world. And I agree. I've had my ups and downs in 3D. But this job is the best job I can think of. If I were to go through all this again, I'd gladly do it. The only thing I'd change? I'd be more humble than ever, and more hardworking than ever.

3D. Best job in the world.

The Keys to My Heart (Supposedly)

This sounds corny but I saw this in Third's blog. Then it disappeared from his blog. I decided to try it out for myself just for kicks. Take note I just answered questions, this DOES NOT reflect how I see love and other stuff.

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when everything is uncertain, one moment heaven... the next moment hell.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage pessimistically. You don't think happy marriages exist anymore.

In this moment, you think of love as commitment. Love only works when both people are totally devoted.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?