[753] I Wish I Could Turn Off My Brain

I think too much. And I think too much of things beyond my control. Or I try to think of all possible scenarios for things I want to do in my life.

Oftentimes I focus on the worst-case scenario. I don't know why. And I wish I could turn it off sometimes. Just go with the flow, but be prepared. Sadly I'm not like that.

I like to think. To analyze. To predict. Even stuff that shouldn't bother a normal person bothers me. My wife has tried to help me stop thinking. I've asked her countless times how to let go.

I've tried to rationalize to myself to stop thinking about some things that shouldn't even be problems.

I don't know why I think too much. I just do.

Out.

[752] Health Update

Been a while since I posted. Not really in the mood to post anything also, so I'll just give a quick update on my health.

I'm hovering between 98 - 99 kilograms. I've gotten bored of walking and most of my walks now are really forced. I've decided to ditch the timer and interval jogging to change my workout.

Now I'm going to try to do one whole lap of walking, then jog the next lap until I can, then walk until I finish the lap. Then jog again at the start of the third lap.

I tried this method out once, where I jogged the start of the second lap. I stopped a little midway and started walking. Then when I got to the "uphill" portion I started jogging again until I finished the lap.

Next walk I will try the earlier method I had planned. Sadly it won't be anytime this week as I have other, more important duties that take precedence over my exercise. Also, the weather has been bad.

Good thing I've been able to curb my eating. I'm actually surprised I'm still below 100 kg despite the fact I've been eating a bit uncontrollably lately.

I'll be going back to oatmeal dinners again now that we've stocked up on some whole rolled oats.

Out.

[751] August

August is almost done and I still haven't done a blog post. So here I go.

Life's been going along great. I can't really be very negative since I can see a lot of good things happening not only in my personal life, but also including my family.

I don't want to get political here so I will end it as is.

Out.

[750] My Health

By now you all know I go walking / jogging one to three times a week. I've been doing this since early January and I have seen the benefits.

I've lost weight, my blood pressure is okay, and my pulse rate is hovering in the low 70s.

Does this mean I love to jog? Not really. I haven't even been able to do non-stop jogging. I'm at a 45-second jog and 30-second walk which I try to do fourteen times every time I go out.

It's a challenge. I had gotten used to doing the 30/30 jog/walk combo and I thought it was time to extend it. But I still feel I am forcing myself to go out.

And that's how it should be. In my case, I really doubt I will achieve anything if I don't force myself. And I really don't think going for walks / jogs will become second nature for me. I just have to always force myself to do these things. That's how I'm wired, I guess.

Don't get me wrong, though. There will be days when I am looking forward to my morning ritual. It's happening more often than before. And to be honest as my body adjusts to the longer active time and less rest time I feel that I will eventually need to increase the duration again.

Hell, I've even started to add some 20lbs kettlebell squats after my jog. And I've been trying to exercise my arms to get rid of my unsightly arm flab.

It's the food that's the problem. I honestly doubt I will be able to live a life eating healthy food. I live to eat, and exercising is one way I can take care of my body so I can continue to eat what I want.

I did notice I am eating less portions nowadays. But when I encounter good food I am less guilty of eating to the point of gluttony.

Out.

[749] Birthday Wishlist 2017

I have a few "traditions" I do whenever my birthday is coming up. One is to get a haircut, and I am done with that. The other is to write down a wishlist of things I want. After the events that happened in early 2017 this is my wishlist.

1. A healthy life. Like I mentioned before, I have lost weight. It was partially because I knew I needed to be able to stay healthy if I want to be able to provide for my family.
2. A stable, strong income. Enough to pay for my daughter's education AND be able to save money WHILE helping out in the expenses at home. Right now I can only do the first two, barely. I would love to help out at home and I am very, very grateful that for now we are not wanting.
3. Peace of mind. I think too much and my emotions still get the better of me most of the time. I just want peace.

I am not joking when I write those things. Now here is my materialistic wishlist.

1. Honda BR-V. When I saw this car in person for the first time, I was blown away. While a Toyota Innova is bigger and a Toyota Avanza is cheaper, there is something about how the BR-V looks that draws me to it. This right now is THE family car I want for the Philippines.
2. Two-bedroom condominium unit in Makati with two parking slots. My daughter is going to a big school in a few weeks and it would give me a lot of peace of mind if we lived a lot closer to her school. Traffic wouldn't be as much of a concern, and the house would be close enough that in case of emergency I can pick her up faster and bring her home faster. Also having a condo in Makati would put us closer to malls and hospitals. And groceries.
3. A Subaru WRX or Toyota 86 / Subaru BRZ. My first option would be the WRX. Still has the capabilities of a sports car but it could seat five people. Perfect fun car. The BRZ/86 is the secondary option because that car is nice. But small.

That's it. I don't even want a PS4 or an electric guitar. And in all honesty I would rather have the first three things I wished for. If I had those three I believe I would have no problem achieving the next three.

Out.