[794] 2018

The year is almost over. Honestly, I'm looking forward to it ending. It has been one long and eventful year. While this year has seen it's share of heartaches I can firmly say that I have learned a lot this year as well.

And despite my continued weaknesses in attitude and willpower I am very thankful I have friends and family who always help me get my focus back on track. The challenge I have is to keep moving forward and growing as a person.

I just need to keep reminding myself not to fall back to bad habits and bad attitudes.

I hope 2019 will be a better year.

Out.

[793] Changes

Times change. And so can opinions and beliefs. This has happened to me, and is still happening to me.

I have so many beliefs changing. These are based on things I've experienced and will experience as I go on. I can't say if the changes are good of bad, just that they're changing. And no, I will not share my beliefs here. Not anymore, internet. Sorry.

Just know that because of all the things I've seen and experienced my beliefs are always changing.

Out.

[792] Eye Shingles

I was recently diagnosed as having eye shingles.

Apparently my immune system loves these not-so-common ailments. In 2012 I had a really bad case of hand, foot, and mouth disease. HFMD usually happens to children. And of all the adults who were at the outing (my sister-in-law's kids had it) I was the only one who of course got infected.

I don't even know where I got eye shingles. It could be from the hospital, where I've been going to almost every week for my wife's chemotherapy. For those of you who don't know, yes my wife has stage 3A breast cancer. Yes she's doing fine. No, I don't want to talk about it.

So here I am, isolated in my old room. What sucks is that my old room is basically our house's warehouse. It's filled with boxes and stuff that wouldn't fit in our rooms here. And yes, I'm staying here. No TV. Just my laptop and iPad for company.

We'll see how this goes. According to the infectious diseases doctor Maica visited I have to be in isolation for two weeks. Two god-damned weeks.

Out.

[791] Reverting

I guess the book's effects on me has worn off and I need to re-read it.

There are still times I try to remember what The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck taught me. I guess times are just really trying for me right now, hence me reverting to what I do best -- be negative and angry.

I just need to remember to find another perspective and to control my emotions. It just gets so trying sometimes.

Out.

[790] Did the Book Really Work?

I don't know if I am overthinking things again, or if I have forgotten most of the good stuff from reading "The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck" but lately I've been pretty emotional again.

I try to remind myself of the major points I learned and remembered for the book, but right now it seems as if I'm in a sinking boat. Try as I might to dump the water out it just keeps coming back in.

Maybe I should try to stop overthinking, the question is how?

Out.