It is around 5:01am as I start writing this... in Iloilo. I am here for some things I have to do, both holiday and business I guess. Going solo and being alone with a really screwed up sleep schedule has me up since a couple past 2am. Good thing I fell asleep before 9pm so I did get around maybe six hours of sleep.
When I was younger, in my teens, I used to tell myself and my friends that if fourteen year old me saw ten year old me the former would beat the latter up for whatever reasons. This was also something I said when I was ten, that I'd beat my seven year old self up. I used to say it in jest, but looking back I'm guessing there was a grain of truth to that.
As I grew older my perspective changed and my twenty-two year old self would then try to reach out and talk to my eighteen year old self. Now that I'm entering my mid-forties I suddenly remembered this and I realized that I would love to reach out to my younger selves. It was less anger at myself for using the term "beat up" but more frustration that I missed out on so many things because of how I thought and behaved at the time.
Sadly I doubt I could go back in time to try to steer myself a bit better. This isn't Groundhog Day, this is real life. All I can do is hopefully learn from my mistakes and try to be a better person now.
Tick tock, the clock is running out.
Out.
