136/365 - Christmas Spirit

Christmas tree finally decorated.

So things have been on a downward spiral since Wednesday or Thursday this week. Today something happened that made things worse.

Now I'm digging myself out of a deeper hole than I expected. 

The good news is that I am now going to start making decisions for myself and my priorities only. I won't be trying to please everyone, just myself and the people I consider important to me. Aside from that, to hell with everyone else.

Merry Christmas, fuckers.

Out.

134, 135/365 - Keep Moving Forward

Guests under my car.

Another rainy afternoon.

Keep moving forward. That's a line I got from the movie "Meet the Robinsons." I've blogged about it before, but I always have to remind myself to do this.

It's okay to feel bad and sulk, but I have to keep moving forward. Lessen sulking time to maximize forward moving time.

Out.

131, 132, 133/365 - Days Go By Fast

I treated myself and my family to Pizza Hut's 7 Cheese Pizza.

Still smiling, unaware of what was to happen.

Reality has sunk in.

This week has been an incredible wave of highs and lows. Right now I'm at a low. Last Tuesday I was at a high.

Bottom line, I didn't get the job I applied for. I was called for a final interview last Tuesday, and I thought I would get a job offer. I felt the interview went great, and the company seemed really interested in my background.

Wednesday I left the house to run some errands. Little did I know that they had already sent the rejection letter. I could have seen it before I left had I checked my e-mail earlier, but I didn't. So I was feeling pretty positive the whole day, and after dinner I saw the "rejection letter." Still, I sent them a thank you note and hopefully that will leave a good impression with them.

So now, Thursday, I'm feeling pretty down. Everything's starting to slowly sink in. I have to start picking myself up and moving on. Right now it's a bit difficult though.

Out.

Perspective

I am a negative person. That is who I am. But that does not mean I have to be negative all the time. All it needs is a little adjustment in perspective. This is something I am forcing myself to continuously do. And so far it appears to be working.

Before I go on, I have to thank the people who helped me realize this perspective change. I won't say their names here, because they might prefer their privacy, but I really appreciate what they've done to help me on this journey I call life.

It does take effort, of course. I usually focus on the most negative thing all the time. Ever since I became more "self-aware" of my faults, I've been consciously forcing myself to look for the bright side.

To be honest, it works. I've encountered quite a few depressing scenarios recently. I started getting depressed or anxious, but then when I catch myself I start looking for the positive. And eventually I do, and I'm not as negative, depressed, angry, or anxious as before.

I am quite proud of this, because I never imagined I would start behaving like this. It's one big step towards becoming an ever better person than I am.

So my advice to you out there, if things don't turn out the way you want, take a deep breath. Calm your thoughts, and try to look at your situation from a different angle. You'll feel better in the end.
Out.

Taken 29 Dec. 2007 in Singapore.

130/365 - Waiting's a Bitch

My folks' alarm clock.

When you are expecting something, it sometimes gnaws at you when it doesn't arrive. It's so frustrating and annoying, you can't do anything but wait or distract yourself.

This sucks for someone like me. I hate waiting. I try to be punctual for meet-ups or meetings, usually arriving with time to spare before the agreed upon time. I just think it shows respect for the person you are to meet.

Maybe that's the reason why I always bring a Nintendo DS or a small book when I go out to meet someone. In case they don't arrive on time, or are really late, I can always play, read, or draw something.

Out.