[803] The Journey

There's a nice line in Aerosmith's song Amazing, "Life's a journey, not a destination." That line stuck to me ever since I first heard the song. That's what life is, basically. It's not about what you end up with, which is basically death, it's what you do before you die.

I have to constantly remind myself of this, now more often than ever. I'm facing greater challenges in life and I can honestly say that I am not prepared for this. Resilience, perseverance, and humility are things I can honestly say I didn't develop when I was younger.

I had it easy. I had it good. I lived in an ivory tower thinking everything was like that. As I grew older the tower crumbled and I faced the realities of life. Life isn't harsh, life is life. If you think it's harsh then it is. If you think it's a series of challenges you overcome then it becomes that way.

And that's how I'm trying to survive now. I keep trying to convince myself, and to remind myself, that life is a series of challenges that I will have to overcome one way or another. Giving up wouldn't be a good idea, and neither would running away from things.

This is the hand I've been dealt with recently and I have no choice but to face everything. I have no idea how I'll overcome these challenges but I guess that's also part of the journey.

Lately I've been so tempted to do the wrong things like give up or start acting like more of an asshole. So far I'm glad I cannot bring myself to do these things. I guess I still have some fight left in me. I just hope I don't run out of it.

Out.

[776] Bad Days

Everyone has bad days. How you see it and how you deal with it is crucial.

Lately I've reverted back to my really negative and angry self. So many things are forcing me back to this comfort zone of mine. I'm trying my best to overcome this challenge, but life really loves throwing curve balls my way.

And no, comparing my life to others' is wrong. One side will always lose. So I have no choice but to persevere. Because it's all about the journey right?

Bullshit. I just wish my life would be as easy or stress free as others' lives.

Fuck this shit.

Out.

[743] Introspection

I guess right now I am living in the "when the going gets tough, the tough get going" phase of my life. I have to say that I was totally unprepared for the trials I have been experiencing in my life since 2017 rolled around.

Sure, there are plenty of things to be thankful for. And if I shifted perspectives I'm sure I could find the positives in what I am currently going through.

I'm not like that right now, however. I have a hard time accepting the positives when I had so many great plans for 2017. So many plans brought to a sudden halt because of what happened last January 6, 2017.

And now as I am scrambling to find a new normal in my life, I find myself at times feeling very, very depressed.

I am not used to this, and I should never be used to this. I must strive and overcome.

Out.

[742] New Year, Major Changes

Due to factors beyond my control my life was shaken in a major way last January 6, 2017. It was a bittersweet day. Bitter because of the earth-shattering news I got at work. Sweet because it was also my wedding anniversary.

I've kept quiet too long. I won't post too many details since I now know the value of self-censoring. Let's just say I got beaten to the punch. And now I'm scampering to find a new sense of normalcy in my life.

I'm actually surprised I am handling these changes quite well. I'd normally be a depressed and angry person by now. I am not as depressed nor as angry as I was before. Maybe because I am growing up.

Anyway I've decided to ditch the 3 posts a month quota on my blog. I will not force myself to write random ramblings just to fill my blog. I will write when I feel like it. Like right now.

Two things I really want to improve this year are my health and photography skills. I want to force myself to walk at least 3 km five times a week. As for photography, I really want to start taking photos again.

Out.