There will come a time when you realize that you are just forcing yourself to do something. When you realize that all the efforts, all the hope you've been clinging on to aren't worth it. That you've been living a lie, or that your time has come.
I have reached that point right now. I realized this about a week ago, during one fateful conversation. I was expecting help and support, instead I got a rude awakening. It was a dose of the truth, I know. It was for my own good, and I acknowledge this fact. I understood the purpose of finding out the truth, but that conversation was not the appropriate time for me to know it.
People are wired differently, some people can take it on the chin, stagger, then fight back. I am not one of those people. When the going gets tough, or when I fall, it takes me a while before I can get back up. But I always do.
I needed help, instead I got salt rubbed on my wounds. And because of that, I realized that enough was enough. And since then, when I fell, I've stood up. But it doesn't end there. Now that I'm standing again, I'm clawing my way up even more. Because I know I am not where I should be. I am in a hole I dug myself in, and the only way out is for me to climb up.
It reminds me of the scene in The Dark Knight Rises, when Bruce Wayne climbs up the pit and tries to escape. That's me now. I'm trying to escape. I'm trying to shed the rope so that I can achieve the success that I desire. It may come sooner, it may come later, but I will achieve my goals.
Out.
