Time for a Change

It's time for a change. Signs are everywhere. I have no idea what change it should be, but it's time.

I guess I'm just too mentally weak to deal with life. One small hiccup ends up turning into a catastrophe the way I handle things. It's all on me. It is no one's fault but mine, and try as I might to rise above myself, I also keep dragging me down.

It's funny. I abhor change. I want the status quo to remain. Even if I try to slowly change, to gently steer the course of my life to better things, something always, always drags me back to the path I am most comfortable with.

For you religious types who say God will help, He doesn't. I've been praying, begging Him to help me, and to do it directly. None of those "this is a test from God to improve myself" ways. None of those mysterious ways. Because they don't help. And don't tell me otherwise because you are not walking my path.

I hate it. I hate my path. This path. It sucks. It isn't good for me or anyone else. I'm just wasting oxygen and resources. And try as I might to improve myself, I keep going back.

It just sucks.

Out.