Don't ask me why, but I really am a negative person. I have no idea why, and no idea how it came to be that way. I have a few theories.
One theory is since I was the eldest grandchild, and an only child to boot, I was spoiled, coddled, and over-protected. Too much being careful and too many "no's" during my childhood may have given me that no attitude in life, and it carried over up to now.
What scares me about this is how true it could be. I do remember as I child I was innocent and happy, but I always kept hearing from my grandmothers a lot of don'ts. Don't talk to strangers, if anyone approaches you offering candy call for help, and lots of other similar warnings. Now, those things may not be wrong, but if drilled into your head almost non-stop it does begin to take a life of its own. Distrust starts brewing, then fear, and eventually negativity.
You may be asking yourself why I don't do anything about it now that I'm old enough and "wise" enough. Well, being aware of my negativity is one step. And I am now in the process of trying to become less negative. But it is hard. Imagine getting used to a certain mindset your whole life. It will take huge amounts of willpower and forcing oneself just to make a difference. And knowing myself, I will still need lots more willpower and force.
Out.
