So I guess it goes a little something like this.
I've played by the rules, and I've 'forgiven but not forgotten'. I've become a good trooper, I've become a sociable person, I've done everything they've asked with as little complaining as possible. In other words, I've gone corporate.
You read that right. I am now a good employee. Always comes to work early, rarely takes vacation leaves or sick leaves, doesn't rock the boat, does what is asked, and never complains about the big stuff.
Hell, that's my philosophy at work anyway. You get paid to do your job, and to follow the rules the management implemented. You don't go to work to get the special treatment, so if you don't like management policies and decisions, then just leave work. Don't become a poison, don't influence your otherwise 'innocent' officemates, don't give them the truth that comes from blue-tinted glasses. Just don't. That's what a job is all about.
But here comes the sad truth. The course I took sent me to a career that doesn't pay well in this country I live in. Yes I make enough to pay most bills, but I still mooch of my folks in one way or another. I can get by with my salary and my wife's salary, but it's not enough for us to do the things we want to do. It's just enough. I don't mind making enough, but surely I was not raised by my folks to settle for enough.
Yes, I honestly and wholeheartedly regret choosing this course. I should've chosen either a management course or medicine. Why? Both those courses could've gotten me paid well in this country. Both those courses could have gotten me the things I really want, and would have gotten me the lifestyle I've been dreaming of living.
Which brings me to another harsh reality. This career of mine supposedly pays well in other countries. Pays more than enough to actually get the things I want in life, and more. Sad to say, I may just be forced to relocate. Not for me, but for my wife and soon-to-arrive child.
It sucks. I never had any plans to leave this country. Sure, every time I travel abroad I end up wishing I could live there, wherever it was I was at at the time. But then I realize that would just make me a stranger in a strange land. Racism or no, equality or not, I'd be a Filipino immigrant working in a country where I honestly do not belong.
Don't get me wrong, the world is small now, and in almost any country in the world you will see different races living there, citizens of that country. Some might even be natural born citizens since they were born in that country already, with only their roots coming from another country.
I don't care if I go to, say, Australia to live and work there and I end up becoming a citizen. So what? I'm not white. I'm not an aborigine. I. AM. A. FILIPINO. I should live in the Philippines. I should die in the Philippines.
And yet, the harsh reality is I have no choice. I have to go work somewhere else. Because it would be selfish of me to just think of myself. And this infuriates me. I shouldn't be forced to go somewhere else just to get good money and secure a good future for my family. Why can't I do it in this country?
Why not? Take a look around this country and you will see why not. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and the middle class slowly drift down to become poor. Sure there are exceptions, but they are very few.
The 'smart ones' go abroad and save, become dual citizens, get good education for their children. Then they go back here and start investing. I guess I'm going to end up like that - whether I like it or not.
And I don't like it. Not one bit. People have never stopped to ask me why I don't want to leave this country. And my reason for not wanting to leave is simple.
Because I don't want to.
Out.
